Seriously. Sometimes you need to try out a few different counsellors to find one that is the right fit for you. I know in one of my earlier posts I touched on this idea, but I think this is really important and deserves a blog post of its own. Making the decision to come in for counselling can be extremely difficult. It can be disheartening when you decide to finally come in and you don’t feel a connection with your therapist. This is absolutely okay and I would encourage you not to give up. If we step back for a second and think about it, there are some people in life that we are just going to click with. There are also other people that for whatever reason, sometimes we just don’t connect. Why would it be any different with a therapist?
Know that it is okay if you don’t feel like your therapist is the right fit and don’t be afraid to speak up. Any good therapist is going to know that they will not be the right fit for every client that walks in the door. I remember one particular client who was not comfortable with my age -he wanted someone who had lived a little more! He was able to express that and front staff were able to get him set up with a better match.
It can feel really awkward to discuss this with your counsellor, but I would encourage you to take a leap and go for it. Sometimes what seems like a lack of connection is really more an issue with the theoretical approach. Being honest with your counsellor can help them find the right tools and techniques that work for you and can be a really empowering conversation. If your therapist just isn’t your shoe, if you speak up they might be able to suggest someone else who might be more compatible. If speaking with your therapist just doesn’t seem like an option, please chat with the office staff so they can help get you set up with your right match. At the end of the day, attending therapy is all about you and it is crucial that you get what you are looking for and that you feel comfortable with your therapist.
It can be worth doing some self-reflection to look at why your counsellor isn’t a match. Therapy is hard work and can be incredibly painful. Are you ready for the process? If not, sometimes it doesn’t matter who the therapist is, they will never be the right fit until you are ready. And that’s okay too. At the end of the day, this process is all about you.