Last week’s blog looked at individuals who are quick to apologize or take ownership for issues that may not be theirs. This week I wanted to follow that up by looking individuals who fall on the opposite side of the spectrum: those who find it really hard to own up to their choices and take accountability. This can take a toll on relationships because sometimes the blame game gets played.
Many people find it difficult to own their actions if they have caused hurt or if others might look down on their choices. So many people are afraid to make mistakes or are hard on themselves when they do. The problem with that is, we all do it! We all make mistakes – lots of them. Some mistakes are worse than others, but we all make poor choices or do things that don’t turn out well. This is part of life and the quicker we can learn to embrace this and learn, the more likely we are to take accountability for our actions and to not be so darn hard on ourselves. No one is perfect and the sooner we stop striving towards an unrealistic ideal, the sooner we can start being true to ourselves.
While making mistakes can be a tough pill to swallow, some people internalize the mistake. It is not much of a stretch to turn “I made a mistake” into “I am a mistake.” These two statements are very different, but how we view ourselves is going to change drastically depending on which statement we buy into. If we take making a mistake personally or see it as a flaw in our character, it makes sense that is going to be really hard to own up to it.
If this is hitting home for you, I would challenge you to start separating yourself from your choices. Do a little bit of thinking on why owning your choices is hard. While it can be challenging to own our decisions, it can also be incredibly freeing.