This past winter I started doing some contract work separate of PPC. I knew fairly early into my contract that I was not the best fit for this position. I tried to keep pushing forward and whether it was determination or just plain stubbornness, I completed my contract and was ready to renew. Just last week after doing a lot of thinking I realized I am not doing myself, nor the community any favors by pushing forward. This got me thinking, why on earth do we hang on to something when we know it is not right for us?
I don’t think there is an easy answer as to why we keep pushing forward when we (and possibly others) know we shouldn’t. What we choose to hang on too also influences our ability to let go. We might hang on to relationships (romantic or otherwise), jobs, or physical belongings. We may even hang on to a home or a particular city for fear of moving forward. I think ego, expectations, and approval of others all influence our decisions. Of course financial incentives and convenience may also keep us stuck, as well as plain old comfort. When we are used to a person, relationship, career, or whatever we get familiar and comfortable. Choosing to cut ties and move on can be very uncomfortable and downright scary. I absolutely can’t deny that a part of me thought I could really do some good and I was reluctant to give that up. My husband was always quick to put me in my place, reminding me that I was not superwoman and that people don’t need saving.
While the reasons for staying stuck may be multiple and complex, there may be one question to ask yourself that can help you move forward. Prior to deciding to leave, I had read an online article about Steve Jobs. The article said that he would periodically check in and ask himself something along the lines of “if I were to die tomorrow, would I be ok doing what I am doing?” If the answer is ‘no’ too many days in a row, then he knew it was time for a change. When I asked myself that question I knew that despite my reservations, I had to cut ties.
Letting go and moving forward can be scary. Surround yourself with a good support team who will help you transition and move you forward. At the end of the day, we only have this one life and we can choose to make the most of it.